On Savouring…

7 Dec

Christmas can be a time where we heap huge expectations on ourselves. The perfect Christmas, making sure everyone is happy, cooking the perfect dinner, putting up the perfect Christmas tree, buying the perfect gifts… Sometimes we forget that it is a holiday period because it feels like constant hard work. For many, worries extend to finances, loss, relationships and family dynamics. Enforced happiness, unrealistic expectations, cheer and joy on demand are never going to feel good. Constantly thinking about what we ‘need’ to do can create an emotional state of anxiety and overwhelm. So how do we return to the basics? How do we create new habits so we can actually enjoy this period?

Let us take this period apart and reassemble it… What are the most important aspects of these weeks away from work? What are your top experiences that genuinely make you feel happy and grounded? What is really important?

For us, at the School of Creative Wellness, the enjoyment comes from simple slow things. Getting out with family for a walk, sitting around a table and being present with the people we love. Collecting cuttings from the nature around us on a walk to create sustainable decorations that look gorgeous. Reminiscing over happy memories and imagining those to come. Making simple meals together, savouring the smells and textures and tastes. Simplifying gifts so they are thoughtful and meaningful. And being in the moment, losing any ideas of perfection or achievement, just being here right now, fully and simply, without guilt and comparison and moving away from those external demands put upon us, often created by ourselves and perceived societal expectations. We have choices.

The wonderful Food Doula writes about making simple decorations as a family whilst watching a film and about preparing Christmas dinner and freezing pre prepared elements so you can enjoy the day, spending less time being frantic and more time being present. We spoke today about how we do have choices and sometimes how hard it is to break free of dominant narratives about what we should be doing…

As Kate demonstrates above, the act of stepping outside an experience to review and appreciate it is savouring. You can just have that experience or you can be mindful when having the experience. You can have a moment when you realise that the experience makes you feel good. Whether it is eating something delicious or spending time with people you love or feeling the wind on your face on a crisp December walk. This realisation and lingering and keeping your attention on the feelings and sensations in that moment are important. It focuses you on the experience for even longer. This stops your brain going to its default negative bias.

We have been immersing ourselves in learning this year. Here are some tips from the Science of Wellbeing Course created by Dr Laurie Santos from Yale university Psychology Dept in relation to savouring.

Things that can help you to savour experiences are:

• talk to another person about how good that experience is

• Think about how lucky you are

• Think about sharing and relaying the experience to others later after the event

• Express your feelings jump around, smile, laugh

• Think about how proud you were, specifically if you achieved something, won something

• Just being in the present moment

❗️ ❗️ Warning - you can hurt savouring.

• By thinking of other things in the moment that could make the experience less good like the future, the things you need to do etc

• Reminding yourself it will be over soon

• Thinking it is not as good as you hoped

• Reminding yourself that it won’t last forever, it’s never going to be this good again

• Telling yourself you don’t deserve this thing

Sonja Lyubomirsky was featured in the Science of Wellbeing course. Sonja’s book The How of Happiness is a comprehensive guide to understanding the elements of happiness based on years of groundbreaking scientific research.

LYUBOMIRSKY ET AL. (2006)

• People were asked to replay happy memories in their mind 8 minutes per day for 3 days.

• Think of the event “as though you were rewinding a film and playing it back.”

People had sustained increases in positive emotions 4 weeks later!

Another scientific piece of research into the ‘Effects of a Savoring Intervention on Resilience and Well-Being of Older Adults’

Jennifer L. Smith, Agnieszka A. Hanni
Published in Journal of Applied… 2019
Psychology
Show these graphs in relation to wellbeing:

Here Chef Curtiss Hemm appreciates all of the opportunities and experiences he has had, he shares his recipe for building a life worth savouring in a Ted talk.

To practice savouring it does not just have to be in the moment. It can be in the past or even the future. It can be small and everyday, it just takes a little time to stop and engage your senses. Why not practice this over your Christmas holiday and let us know if intentional acts of savouring, help you to relax, and truly enjoy this time of year.

Savouring one thing everyday will enhance your wellbeing. Immerse yourself in the present moment and realise how beautiful that moment is, then actively replay that feeling over and over again.

If you find it hard to carve out the time for slow practice we are offering some free 30 minute full moon and new moon online meet-ups in December and January, a chance to reflect, set intentions, breathe and connect to yourself, all from the comfort of your own home. Sign up for free here, this is a gift from us to you at this busy time of year.

The School of Creative Wellness conducts research, connects with local and global experts in health and wellbeing. We champion and showcase research, individuals and businesses that we feel aligned with. We collect, connect, reflect, share our resources and offer unique services with the aim of helping to signpost, inform, inspire and enable women to navigate mid-life with care, creativity and joy. We help you to fill your cup on a daily basis.

We hope this blogpost is helpful over this busy season. We would love to hear from you about the moments you choose to savour this Christmas.