Finding Better Ways to Live

There is a stone, deep down inside me, in the bottom of the ocean. It is stuck, heavy, covered in debris, closed and hard. I have been holding this stone for a long time. The weight of it builds. It is deep down inside, it took me a few years to realise what it was. I could feel it, but I did not hear its whispers. I ignored the stone and carried on. It is a metaphor, a real and visceral metaphor for all the grief that I carry, personally and for the state of the world, the trauma, the concerns, the struggles. For years the ways I lived my life just buried that stone deeper and deeper. I felt heavier and heavier, weighed down by the expectations, the guilt, the shame, the societal norms and narratives, the ‘progress’ and the wounds.

Whenever I am by the sea I listen to the stones, they choose me. I gaze and soak in their colours and textures and imagine the time and wear they have had to carve their individual shapes, messages and forms. Meanwhile my stone was stuck, in the depths, in the darkness, ignored. 

I began to feel brave enough to look at my stone, glimpses at first, becoming more regular until I could sit with it in all its discomfort, without fear and with compassion. The stone was whispering to me in undulating tones - “free me, shift me, loosen me, listen to me….” This was the beginning of a quest to shift this cold hard stone, to liberate the stone, to connect with it with empathy, compassion and care. To free myself from the patriarchal business led systems, societal expectations and narratives. To move from the linear to the circular and infinite. The stone holds stories like the circles of a tree, a living library, my stories; fiction and non-fiction. It is part of me, part of nature and the time came, in mid-life, to truly connect with it because I had become so very disconnected and deaf to its cries for liberation. It was holding everything inside. I was holding everything inside. Stuck.

When I sat with the stone at the bottom of the ocean I sensed its layers and layers, of memories, of facts and fiction, of narrative and stories, its energy, it’s struggle for light. It’s should haves and have nots, it’s guilt and overwhelm all woven tight and in need of unravelling and setting free.

Maybe this stone only becomes available to see in midlife and as a woman? Or at a time of trauma and crisis its cries get louder. There are many stones, rocks and solid things in the bottom of the ocean. Do other people (humanity) reach this realisation and hear their individual stone as part of a collective calling, a communal wailing from deep, deep down?

How do we find better ways to live? How can we heal ourselves and the earth- world we inhabit? How can we listen to this deep and wondrous calling to find change? How can we birth something new, something different, new ways of being?

Sharon Blackie describes the patriarchal world of progress and production as the ‘Wasteland’ in her book ‘If Women Rose Rooted’. Exploring how to find sovereignty and full responsibility to make decisions and take actions in an ever complex world, Blackie looks at women’s relationship to the land through mythology, psychology and storytelling. The innate creativity in every woman, the feeling of embodiment and the re-learning of instinct. In order to do this, she says, we have to step away from the ‘Wasteland’ to reject conformity and our roles as patriarchal daughters. This involves listening to the calls from the stone weighing so heavily deep inside, at the bottom of the ocean or in the dark cave. It wasn’t long ago that women who rejected conformity were seen as mad and institutionalised. More recently, role models of empowered women fitted the patriarchal modelling of men. What is next? What are women’s roles in this important process of recalibration.

Blackie talks about the relationship of women and creativity. The ability to birth, nurture and grow new things. One of the things that I found really interesting was her discussion of the important role that women have to play in birthing and creating. She holds her standpoint not from a view of being anti male at all, she talks about the fact that we all as humans have maleness and femaleness within us to varying degrees. She talks about patriarchal society being unbalanced and based on values born from industrialisation, progress and capitalism, far away from our relationship to mother earth. Far from the traditions and values that nurture and work with the land, the insights, stories and ways that perhaps we need to return to to heal ourselves and the world we inhabit. In ancient Chinese philosophy there is Yin (negative, dark, feminine) and Yang (positive, bright, masculine) and their interaction is thought to maintain the harmony of the universe and to influence everything within it. It is about harmony and balance, the sun and the moon, the ebb and flow of the tides, the inhale and the exhale, the male and the female working together.

We have become so far removed from these balanced principles in line with nature, we are male energy (partiarchal) heavy in the western world, out of balance, out of touch. There are men who really struggle with this imbalance and societal expectations put upon men have seen such high suicide rates and pressures in the ‘wasteland’. We are all sufferring from our disconnected ways, systems that don’t serve us and unrealistic expectations put upon us. The earth is suffering too, humanity has lost its way. But on we continue, feeding the systems and ideals that are destroying us and destroying the planet…

Through my rejection of the ‘wasteland’ I can proudly say I am part of a movement of collective inquiry striving for better ways to live in a modern world. Building and growing new systems, businesses and regenerative ways of being. This movement is centred around nourishment, balance, sharing, community, hope, creativity, healing, care, storytelling, place, presence and nurturing both human and nonhuman relationships. In order to take these brave new steps involves risk, relearning intuition, connecting with like minded people, connecting to our bodies, breath and to the natural world, breathing and finding space to connect deeply and find solutions, joy, new (and old) knowledge, both personally and collectively. Shedding patterns of holding, of shame, grief and fear lead to finding joy, fire, values, stories, colour, vibrancy and ideas. This process of deep inquiry was the foundation of establishing the School of Creative Wellness and the services we provide pull on leading methods and practices for leading a better life.

This is a process. Of unravelling and remaking, rebirthing. This happens a lot to women in midlife. It is exciting and the more people who join this mission the more powerful it becomes. I like to call it ‘Soft Power, Soft Living or Soft Activism’. It is for men and for women but returns ultimately to the feminine qualities of birthing, nurturing, nature and balance. If you wish to deep dive into this process take a look at our weekend retreats. They offer time, space, tools and methods for transformative experiences.

If you, (like I was), are finding yourself stuck and unhappy try asking yourself some questions and answer honestly and without judgement or criticism:

What, if anything, is stopping you from feeling alive? 

What needs to be set free in your life?

What can you lose?

What do you need?

What actions can you take slowly to reconnect with your true self?

How can you slowly and realistically start to heal, what initiatives can you take?

What brings you joy?

What are your instinctive values?

How can you connect to/ explore your local environment and community?

How can you connect with and nurture new ways of living?

For me this is an ongoing process involving a mixture of creativity (imagining, exploring, reading, visual and written play, learning), therapy - CBT, trauma, grief, regular yoga practice, meditation and restorative practices, creating space for myself,  learning to breathe, shedding guilt and healing past traumas, immersion in nature, walking, forest bathing, foraging, wild swimming, being with multigenerational women, nurturing friendships, relationships, being present, redefining ‘business’ with a regenerative emphasis, noticing the ignored, gratitude, awakening my senses, spending time doing things that are good for my mental and physical health, losing ego, realising that I am not alone I am part of something bigger than myself, sharing, being vulnerable, losing expectations (real and imagined), being curious and putting myself in the best place to have the energy to be curious, to feel alive and connected. This is my personal journey and believe me I know how hard it is, just to keep your head above water, to be a mother, a daughter, an employee. But there are alternatives to everything. We just need to listen to our heaviness and take it seriously, before it takes hold and drags you down. Finding ways to shift and release and move in a different way, new journeys, new pathways, new methods are not impossible.

Here, below, are a few of my resources, things I have read, interesting people and businesses that I have found to help me out of the depths, to shift and loosen my stone, to shift and start a metamorphosis process of healing, for myself, for my environment and for the people around me. 

This is a personal resource list, but maybe it will spark a conversation, an action or a feeling of curiosity in you to join the collective quest to find better ways to live the precious life you have.

World Earth Day is an opportunity for you to start or continue this journey (if you wish to) by taking time (long or short) in your locale (countryside or city) to really connect with it. How well do you know your local landscape?  Start by just walking and noticing, changing your vision from head down and moving forwards in a linear way to engaging your vista vision. Soften your gaze, look up, scan the horizon. What and who inhabit the land you live near? Turn around do a 360 degree spin. Bend down and look at the world upside down from between your legs. Lay down and look at the sky, the tops of the trees. Take some deep breaths in and sigh them out letting out any tension on the exhale. Letting go of anything other than what you are feeling and seeing right now.

Feel the sensations on your skin of the wind. Feel your body making contact with the ground. What can you smell? What do you hear?  Stop and really notice a detail, the colour, texture the intricacy of a natural object. Discover a natural object that you connect with, a flower, a stone, a leaf and it will connect with you. Take it home and place it somewhere as a symbol of connection. A reminder that this small act of connection can feed a whole new journey of connection to yourself and to the beautiful world around you.

Sharon Blackie

Black Mountain College

Regenerative Business

Worthy Earth

6 Inches of Soil

The Food Doula

Jez Smith Ancient Sacred Sounds

The Sharpham Trust

Dartington Trust

Life in 5 Senses Gretchen Rubin

Brene Brown Podcasts

This Independent Life

Fallen Willow Sauna

The Tree of Yoga BKS Iyengar

Restorative Yoga Anna Ashby

The Wild Academy

Nathalie Knevett Counselling

Heather Mullin Creative Coaching

The Conscious Breath.

Flowing, filling spaces, softening, expanding, contracting, pulling, pushing, drawing earth-down, releasing skywards, exploring inwards, connecting outwards,  waves, jellyfish, heartbeats, emptying out, releasing, holding, sweet space, re-energising, first breath, last breath, entering, exiting, hovering, stillness, spaces in between, sustaining, nourishing, guiding, metronome, rhythm, seeing,feeling, following, connecting, alerting, soothing, rhythmic, pulsating…. 

Connected or disconnected?

How connected or disconnected are you day to day? To yourself, to your loved ones, to others, to the natural world? Humans and progress, industry and technology, consumerism and survival; it’s tricky navigating life today. Life is fast, it is competitive and we are bombarded with information and stimuli jostling to grab our attention. How do you unplug yourself from the routines, the expectations, the hard work, the noise, the sorrow, the productivity?

Do you stop to ask yourself how you feel, how you really feel? Or maybe there is not the time or space to do so… How can you create the space and time to do so? When you ask yourself how you feel, do you do it through a lens of ‘should be - should do - should have’? Do you ever observe without judgement?  Do you ever notice what your body is doing, what signs it is sending to you or to others? 

Making/taking time to check in and anchor yourself, amidst the madness; is the best gift you can give yourself. I create spaces and offer techniques and expertise to help women of all ages to do this. It is the best work!

Breath can control our physiological states and learning to tune into breath, mastering simple techniques and practice, can have a profound effect on our wellbeing. Tuning into the rhythm, depth and felt sensation of breath enables present sense awareness, away from the thoughts, the chores, the busy noise of day to day life.

I am currently half way through a Restorative Yoga Teacher Training programme with the most incredible teacher Anna Ashby. A fundamental part of this practice is understanding the nervous system and tapping into the conscious breath in total comfort, totally letting go and gently observing, surrendering and resting. I feel inspired by this beautiful process; creative and unfolding. It is hard to completely let go, it takes practice. Some of us only search for it when things get bad in life. When you do immerse yourself, you can reach a state of awareness beyond thoughts or constructs, a natural state of awareness. 

Anna talks about the conscious breath in her book - “When the breath is made conscious- drawn out and subtle - something extraordinary happens. The present moment expands into relief and vibrates with power. Breath becomes a potent teacher mapping the contours of the body, disclosing unnecessary tension, downshifting the nervous system and revealing the joy of being in its flow…. and ebb. Breath symbolises the power of life - its movement and stillness - from beginning, to middle, to end.”

Anna Ashby, Restorative Yoga p98 

Learning to rest and to be conscious of breath is the most profound learning. Reaching a completely natural state where the body and mind can just be, without distraction or judgement and without effort. A natural state of being where you lose ego and feel part of something much bigger than yourself. When do we have the opportunity for this kind of experience in our modern lives? Learning how to befriend and explore your breath is a skill and route of inquiry that humans seem to have lost, more than ever,  it is a route of inquiry that we seem to truly need in the world we live in today.

Understanding the mechanics and science of breathing is helpful as a starting point. 

In short the mechanism of breathing involves two main processes: inspiration and expiration. Inspiration occurs when the diaphragm and the external intercostal muscles contract. Expiration occurs when the diaphragm and the intercostal muscles relax. I like to visualise this like a jellyfish pushing down (concave) on the inhale and relaxing up (domed) on the exhale in a pulsating, underwater rhythm. On the inhale we are pulling in oxygen which goes to the heart to feed it, it then sends the remaining oxygen out to all the trillions of cells in the body, on the exhale the body releases what it does not need and you can release tension like a sigh. The heart is beating and pulsating, your breath has its own rhythm, this beautiful activity inside our bodies is one that we rarely think about. Just think about how this process keeps you alive and what is happening on a micro level inside your body. It is a beautiful and incredible thing. If you are interested and want to watch some videos the British Medical Journal has some on you tube that are simple and informative.

Our breath works with our sympathetic nervous system SNS (fight or flight) and our parasympathetic nervous system PSNS (rest and digest.) When we are stressed our SNS is activated to high alert and our breathing changes automatically, becoming faster, more shallow and often high up in our chest. We can tense our bodies and muscles, tighten our jaws and  sometimes we hold our breath when stressed.. These are automatic reactions and we do need to understand when we are in danger. However, we are over-stimulated most of the time, our expectations on ourselves and others are high, our worries and concerns about our individual lives and the state of the world mean that more and more of us live in a heightened state with activated SNS more than we realise or indeed is healthy.

When we slow our breath rate down it activates our PNS, calms us down, slows us down. Breath control was explored historically in the history of yoga and now science has research and data to suggest that breathwork can have positive effects on physical and mental wellbeing. Like this research paper published by the National Library of Medicine.

It is important to understand the body and mind connection in relation to stress and breath. Just thinking about stressful situations can activate a stress response. You could be in imminent danger while crossing the road when a car approaches too fast, but you can also activate your fight or flight response by thinking about a past memory, or worrying about something that you have to do or a situation you are in. Both trigger the same response. 

Equally, you can cultivate a practice where you use your breath to calm and soothe yourself. Just through the act of turning your attention to its rhythm, Slowing the breath down. Softening. Feeling the cool air as it enters your nostrils, moves down your throat to your chest, fills your abdomen, expands your ribcage and moves down towards the earth as your whole body swells on the inhale. A slight pause at the top, feeling a beautiful stillness. Then, slowly, softly, the breath travels back up from your roots and leaves your nostrils as warm soft air, as your body releases what it doesn’t need. Another sweet pause on the emptying out, whilst noticing the stillness. The exhale extends slower and longer than the inhale. This is a gateway to meditation: your focus is taken away from yourself, your world, the noise and into your inner landscape and you become part of something bigger than your world. You become immersed in the wonderful comfort and rhythm of your breathing and how it feels in your body. You can practice and master the art of down regulating your nervous system.

Pranayama is the yogic practice of focusing on breath. In yoga, breath is associated with prana, thus, pranayama is a means to elevate the prana-shakti, or life energies. Pranayama is described in Hindu texts such as the Bhagavad Gita and the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali.

As a qualified breathwork coach and yoga teacher I have learnt different breathing techniques rooted in the history of yoga. Breathwork to bring you up, to regulate and to relax. In different types of yoga, different approaches to breath and movement, or breath and stillness are taken. In vinyasa flow or ashtanga styles the flow and movement is matched by a flow and movement of breath, a kind of meditation in motion. In yin yoga, a slower approach with the breath marries with deep stretch asanas (postures) allowing the body to surrender to gravity working the fascia but also quieting the mind and exploring felt sensations in the pose and in the breath.

In restorative yoga we use many props to set up a nest of total comfort for the body where we can completely let go and focus on breath and deep somatic enquiry this is where I find effortless breath a revelation, not counting or forcing just letting it flow naturally and feeling it and following it. This has taken me to a space that is ultimately healing, creative and alive, it allows my body time and space to repair, release and heal but also on a deep level it allows me to settle into stillness which in turn enables me to gain awareness and often problem solve, resolve issues without thinking. 

I wanted to share today’s restorative yoga practice with you. Taking one restful pose allows me to tune into my breath and my body and here I attempt to describe the process.

Mood/ feelings: fragile & tired

Physical: heavy, slow, achey & womb pain

Set up: savasana corpse pose, using a bolster under my knees a blanket rolled to support my neck and head and a belt around my thighs, covered in a snuggly blanket.

Initial fidgets- neck and head never feels centred at first. Neck head shoulders tense- holding. Noticing holding via my breath. Sacrum achey. Great joy in adjusts to sacrum and shoulders. Moving shoulder blades down my back. Jaw holding. Tongue holding. Releasing jaw, root of tongue.

Breathing - I start to purposely breathe deeply and this feels a bit forced. So I move to a slow deep inhale and sighing it out a few times. To settle in. 

A few more fidgets. Dogs licked my mouth and stood on my tummy. Then settled. A few thoughts came in. Writing this blogpost etc. One last fidget and adjust. Dogs snuggled in one on each side in the space between my body and my arms. So warm. Feet a little cold under the blanket so will wear socks next time. 

Then I totally let go. I noticed my shoulders, neck and upper back completely let go. Breath softened. Nothing was forced. I followed my breath from my crown down deep into my body and back up and out of the crown of my head. I see my diaphragm as a jellyfish. I am drifting, settling. I see colours of reds and yellows, soft, pulsating and a dome of colour over and seeping into my womb. 

Dropping down like in the ocean to the sea bed. Still, enveloped, inside myself watching the million intricate rhythms at work , repairing, feeding, pulsating.  Soft and at ease. I am pulsating deeper and rising up to the surface. Then deeper and rising. Slow floating. With the rhythm of my breath guiding me….

My Daughter rang. It brought me back up. And I was aware that I must have been there for an hour! I slowly came round. Rolled over. Dogs seemed very pleased and super chilled. 

I feel so much better for it. Grounded, repaired and aware of how I have been feeling these past few days but not judgemental. Like I may have been in the past. Just aware. 

Sometimes it is hard to practise. Set it up and find the right time. Today I needed to practise. And that’s how it should be. Not a regime but a felt need and response. 

Breathing in yoga and meditation has historically been linked to enlightenment. Take this to a contemporary context and the power of the breath to guide people back to a natural state, a calm state in body and mind, realising we are not our thoughts, we are part of something much bigger. A space and state of being in the present moment that is ours, no matter what the external forces are that are pushing and pulling at us. A gorgeous expansive, soft, grounded space of stillness in an increasingly complex world. It can be ours to discover and it is free. It is already there, just waiting to be befriended.

If you wish to experience or find out more about how I work with breath please see the following:

Weekly Yin & Restore Yoga Classes

in person class in Winchester on Friday evenings 6-7pm. This practice is for women to put a space between the week and weekend, to connect to their breath through yin yoga and two restorative poses each week.

MOVE, BREATHE, SWIM, CLEANSE

Breathwork, wild swimming and sauna sessions at the Fallen Willow Sauna, Hampshire. 

Wednesday Lunchtime Online Yoga Club

A beautiful vinyasa flow matching breath to movement.

Bedtime Yoga Nidra Online

Full/ New Moon Meetups Online

Yin Yoga, Cacao and Sound Bath Events 

Weekend Wellness Retreats

To find out more info visit our website

Book any of the above here

Coming Soon  

Yoga Brunches for multigenerational women in Hampshire. 

The Conscious Breath - a short modular course. Online, including practice videos, lectures and exercises to learn, practice and live life with a more conscious breath. This course will be part of a portfolio of stand-alone modular courses that are affordable and accessible and form a series of ‘Toolkits for Self-Care’. 

Goddesses in Everywoman

What characters lie within you? Have you ever taken the time to explore your characters within? We all have different sides to us, some are deeply instinctive like a deeply rooted need to live and behave in a certain way, some we have experienced at certain points in our lives as we transition from maiden to mother and to wise elder. As a woman in my late forties, the past few years have been a journey of rediscovery and exploring the characters within have been integral to a deeper connection to and understanding of myself. Once one fully understands the characters that lie within, you can become more of a puppet master to your own life, deciding when and how they present themselves, how to accept, develop and nurture them and your whole self in the process. This is so insightful and empowering as a process.

Exploring my inner characters creatively has been such a revelation to me. What do they look like, what objects, activities, values, emotions, values and visual references do they have? How do they interact with others? How do I feel about them? I created visual mood boards of my characters and talked them through with my then creative coach Heather Mullin. Using symbolism, storytelling and creativity as an act of self exploration ignited something in me. 

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This month I have been reading Goddesses in Everywoman: Powerful Archteypes in Women’s Lives written by Jean Shinoda Bolen, MD and first published in 1984. 

The Foreward by Gloria Steinem summarises the purpose and value of the book for all women to read. “The highlight of this book lies in the moments of recognition it provides. The author labels them of moments of “Aha!”: that insightful second when we understand and internalise; when we recognise what we ourselves have experienced, feel trust because of that truth, and are then taken one step further to an understanding of “Yes, that’s why.” Each reader will learn something different and that “Aha!” must be our own.”

At school I loved Greek Mythology, it captured my attention and imagination. Epic tales where I could create my own rich internal and imaginative world. Here, I present to you the archetypes with Bolen’s invocation to their particular strengths, for you to explore and summon at your will:

Artemis

‘Keep me focused on that goal in the distance.’

Athena

‘Help me to think clearly in this situation.’

Hestia

‘Honour me with your presence, bring me peace and serenity.’

Hera

‘Help me to make a commitment and be faithful.’

Demeter

‘Teach me to be patient and generous, help me to be a good mother.’

Persephone

‘Help me to stay open and receptive.’

Aphrodite

‘Help me to love and enjoy my body.’

Bolen states in the book: “There is a potential heroine in everywoman. She is the leading lady in her own life story that begins at her birth and continues through her lifetime. As she travels on her particular path, she will undoubtedly encounter suffering; feel loneliness, vulnerability, uncertainty; and know limitations. She also may find meaning, develop character, experience love and grace, and learn wisdom.”

“When difficulties arise, if she assesses what she can do, decides what she will do, and behaves in a way that is consistent with her values and feelings, she is acting as the heroine- protagonist of her own myth.”

This year we are developing an online community that pulls together leading methods from different disciplines (yoga, breathwork and mediataion, biological and natural sciences, literature, psychology & coaching, art & design), to enable women to deeply connect to themselves and navigate life armed with the best tools, methods and knowledge at hand. The platform will be on our website and will house a mixture of on demand content and live online yoga and breathwork, interviews and case studies, writing and creative prompts and manageable habit forming exercises plus regular meet-ups and signposting to other experts.

As part of this content we are interviewing leading women in the fields of yoga, psychology, nutrition and the arts with the focus on wellness for women. These interviews, in the form of video and audio, will hold innovatory insights tips and ideas. Our quest is to celebrate and champion other experts in the field and signpost you to their services alongside the content we generate ourselves. This is full time work and is born from personal research and learnings and a gift in making connections alongside a genuine passion to share this information to help others who don’t have the time to gather the resources they need for life with ease.

This is where research meets practice, a one stop shop for the resources, contacts and methods gathered together for you to utilise, to fully lean into your values and your life as a woman; forming awareness as an ongoing life learning. We help women to navigate the tough times and transitions with self-care and to celebrate and find joy, as an ongoing practice, as we all shift through life. We do the hard work for you by holding space and creating methods to live by. Everywoman can fill their cup in an accessible, flexible and manageable way.

The School of Creative Wellness is a space that is yours to truly discover, feel inspired and connect. This is a unique offering and one that has been lovingly put together in the knowledge that it is so hard to do this on your own in a holistic sense. We have dedicated time to gathering the best information, resources, links and practical tools. It will compliment but sit separately to the live in-person events we do.

We aim to launch this in the Autumn of 2024. If you wish to express an interest in hearing about developments of this unique Creative Wellness Community please add your details to this google form. No obligation to sign up to anything, We just wish to inform you about these developments and gather feedback along the way whilst shaping this exciting new offering. 

And yes: innovative ways of exploring your inner characters within is going to be part of this offering.

Love from Susanna x

The Secret Benefits of Yin Yoga…

I adore Yin Yoga. A lot of people don’t know what it is and how beautiful it can be. So I will attempt to explain and demystify. Daphne Bath my old Yin teacher used to say “chairs are your enemy, get rid of your chairs.” My mum and I started going to her classes just before my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer in 2019. Previously I had always practiced Vinyasa, Ashtanga and Iyengar yoga. Yin was a revelation and Daphne was a magical human being. If you came into contact with her you just felt like everything was going to be ok, her warmth humour and capacity to light any room was palpable. Daphne lost her battle with cancer in August 2022 but helped people dealing with terminal illness and loss through her practice and her personality. She inspired me and helped me through a difficult time. After losing Dad I knew I needed Yin as a regular part of my life and I wanted to start a journey of using yoga and creativity to share with others too. Daphne is always in my mind, every class I teach, in the magic of the practice and as a compassionate character. 

Daphne Bath

Yin is stillness in a busy world, it uses long hold poses (between 2 and 5 minutes) where you surrender into each pose and breathe, letting go of stress, tension and emotion. It is challenging on many levels. You use your breath to calm your central nervous system and gravity to go deeper into each pose.

When do you practice being still?

When do you ever stop to truly notice what is going on in your body and mind without judgement?

On a physiological level it works your fascia (like cellophane, fascia wraps in and around your muscles and muscle fibres all over your body) and connective tissues. It works like acupressure because you are stressing your connective tissues and muscle fibres in deep stretches that you hold and soften into, improving your flexibility and mobility. Using your breath (pranayama) increases the amount of oxygen in your blood which activates and nourishes your muscles and connective tissues in each pose. Pranayama also directly links to our emotional state, our levels of stress and pain threshold. It helps you to de-stress. As we focus on our inner selves and distance our minds from all that stimulates it, we can go into a deep introspective state which can help give perspective. This meditative practice allows you to focus on yourself, your relation to the world around you and gain a deeper understanding of self. This is truly profound.  With Yin you are self lubricating your body, regenerating and being present, truly present in the moment, calming, stretching, soothing, accepting and gaining awareness.

Yin is often called the gateway to meditation because you gently guide your focus to your breath and your body, if your brain jumps to the past or future you just gently pull it back to the present to your breath and body with a certain curiosity. After a while this becomes a regular practice and skill. Noticing sensations deep inside or close to the skin, feeling where areas are tight, tense or holding and storing emotions and energy, then sending your breath to those areas to create space.

Space and time are often what we lack in day to day life. I hold that space and time with great care, to guide women to connect to themselves, to reset and restore on a regular basis. This is very important work. It is a kind and compassionate practice. It is accessible and so very helpful, now of all times when we need to learn to self soothe, to slow down, to treat ourselves and others with empathy and care.

We live in hyper-stimulated modes most of the time, with long lists of things that need to be done, deadlines to meet, challenges that come at us through work, finances, relationships. We see so much devastation and suffering in the world and we all have varying pressures coming at us, it is part of modern life.

But how does the body react to stress?

Our sympathetic nervous system, when activated, is on high alert (fight or flight), bracing ourselves and searching for incoming threats and dangers. We are over stimulated and overwhelmed on a daily basis. We breathe into our chest high and shallow, we tense and hold our bodies in ways to protect ourselves. We hold and store tension, trauma and experiences in our bodies, our minds are working fast. We find it hard to sleep, to switch off. Society expects us to become always busy, always on. 

When we experience stress, our bodies release hormones like epinephrine (adrenaline), cortisol, and norepinephrine. These hormones are designed to help us deal with stressful situations by increasing our heart rate, blood pressure, and blood sugar levels. However, chronic stress can take a toll on our bodies and minds over time leading to anxiety, weight gain, depression, high blood pressure, cognitive dysfunction, weakened immune system, gastrointestinal problems and other health problems.

Yin helps us to release stress and tension, to be in the present moment, breathing, feeling and releasing. It can help us to learn techniques to self soothe and activate our parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest) both on the mat and in our daily lives. It is somehow easier than mediation because of the way we are leaning into being curious about our physical body by taking different poses, which at first feel uncomfortable, but after a while we surrender and can go deeper still. 

If you feel yoga is a bit woo for you, there is plenty of scientific research like this controlled trial from the Depts of Psychology and Clinical Sciences at the University of Lund, Sweden in 2018, which tested a group who attended two hour classes of Yin yoga per week, compared to a group who did not and a group who did yoga and other mindful learning plus the Yin yoga. Below is the abstract, see the full paper here.

Five-week yin yoga-based interventions decreased plasma adrenomedullin and increased psychological health in stressed adults: A randomized controlled trial.

Background

Non-communicable diseases (NCDs, e.g. cardiovascular disease, cancer) are responsible for high rates of morbidity and the majority of premature deaths worldwide. It is necessary to develop preventative interventions that can reduce the associated risk factors of NCDs. Researchers have found that the biomarker adrenomedullin (ADM) becomes elevated years before the onset of NCDs and might play an important role in their development. ADM has also been linked to psychological problems such as stress, anxiety, and depression, which are known risk factors of NCDs. In this randomized controlled trial, we examined whether participating in a five-week yoga intervention reduces ADM and increases psychological health in middle-aged adults who self-report as moderately to highly stressed, but who otherwise exhibit no physical complaints.

Methods

One hundred and five adults (78% women; mean age = 53.5, SD = 6.7) were randomly assigned to (1) a five-week Yin yoga intervention, (2) a five-week intervention combining Yin yoga with psychoeducation and mindfulness practice (called the YOMI program), or (3) a control group who did not practice yoga or mindfulness for five weeks.

Results

Compared to the control group, we observed significantly greater pre-post reductions in plasma ADM levels (p < .001), anxiety (p ≤ .002), and sleep problems (p ≤ .003) in both intervention groups. Furthermore, the YOMI group exclusively showed significantly greater pre-post reductions in stress (p = .012) and depression (p = .021) compared to the control group. Significant correlations (p < .05) were found between pre-post reductions in ADM and anxiety symptoms (p = .02) and depression (p = .04) in the entire sample.

Conclusion

The five-week Yin yoga-based interventions appeared to reduce both the physiological and psychological risk factors known to be associated with NCDs. The study suggests that incorporating Yin yoga could be an easy and low-cost method of limiting the negative health effects associated with high stress.

“If you don’t tend to your garden, your plants won’t grow.” Was another favourite line of Daphne’s. When I made the decision to leave my career and retrain as a yoga teacher Daphne was in my mind. Now I run a regular Yin class on a Friday evening in Winchester and I can’t fully describe how magical it is. I see women come in, mothers, grandmothers, daughters all with a multitude of pressures in their lives whether it be life, work, loss, relationships, exams, and together we are still, in candlelight, all breathing and tuning into ourselves at the same time, just accepting, surrendering and regenerating. It is sublime.

I used to teach in universities here in the UK and in Portugal. I know how hard it is in education for teachers. My daughter is 12 and in her first year of secondary school. At Christmas I gifted a free Yin class to the teachers. Now, in 2024 I am holding a weekly class for them. It is so important to integrate time for this kind of deep work, to be able to refuel and build stamina in the long term. To be preventative and not reactive.

Having spent a lifetime thinking I did not have time to prioritise regular self care, I hit burnout in 2020 when multiple life challenges hit at once. I knew I needed to change my pattern as a mum, as an employee and as a daughter of going through life hard and fast with everything going out of me and nothing much coming back in, no pause, no space no time to replenish or even to notice who I was in the present moment. I know this is a familiar story for many.

So now the School of Creative Wellness provides a most beautiful service of time, skills and toolkits for wellness for women like me, and perhaps like you. Moving from arts and design education to creative wellness for women has been a natural transition. There is a great need for this kind of transformative work.

Below is a handwritten note from Jan who comes to the Friday Yin class every week, which means so much to me:

If you want to experience Yin Yoga The School of Creative Wellness offers several opportunities that you can book:

Yin and Restore In Winchester on Friday Evenings. Susanna offers yoga Nidra and Yin Yoga in these beautiful classes for women.

 Yin Yoga and Soundbath Experiences (5 per year) Booking now for January 20th.

Weekend Wellness Retreats (4 per year) June Bookings.

Susanna also has space to take on only 3 more private clients this month. You can be based anywhere for online guided sessions to fit into your busy schedules. A perfect wind down after work for beautiful Yin and Yoga Nidra sessions.  Available on request.

On Savouring…

Christmas can be a time where we heap huge expectations on ourselves. The perfect Christmas, making sure everyone is happy, cooking the perfect dinner, putting up the perfect Christmas tree, buying the perfect gifts… Sometimes we forget that it is a holiday period because it feels like constant hard work. For many, worries extend to finances, loss, relationships and family dynamics. Enforced happiness, unrealistic expectations, cheer and joy on demand are never going to feel good. Constantly thinking about what we ‘need’ to do can create an emotional state of anxiety and overwhelm. So how do we return to the basics? How do we create new habits so we can actually enjoy this period? 

Let us take this period apart and reassemble it… What are the most important aspects of these weeks away from work? What are your top experiences that genuinely make you feel happy and grounded? What is really important?

For us, at the School of Creative Wellness, the enjoyment comes from simple slow things. Getting out with family for a walk, sitting around a table and being present with the people we love. Collecting cuttings from the nature around us on a walk to create sustainable decorations that look gorgeous. Reminiscing over happy memories and imagining those to come. Making simple meals together, savouring the smells and textures and tastes. Simplifying gifts so they are thoughtful and meaningful. And being in the moment, losing any ideas of perfection or achievement, just being here right now, fully and simply, without guilt and comparison and moving away from those external demands put upon us, often created by ourselves and perceived societal expectations. We have choices.

The wonderful Food Doula writes about making simple decorations as a family whilst watching a film and about preparing Christmas dinner and freezing pre prepared elements so you can enjoy the day, spending less time being frantic and more time being present. We spoke today about how we do have choices and sometimes how hard it is to break free of dominant narratives about what we should be doing…

As Kate demonstrates above, the act of stepping outside an experience to review and appreciate it is savouring. You can just have that experience or you can be mindful when having the experience. You can have a moment when you realise that the experience makes you feel good. Whether it is eating something delicious or spending time with people you love or feeling the wind on your face on a crisp December walk. This realisation and lingering and keeping your attention on the feelings and sensations in that moment are important. It focuses you on the experience for even longer. This stops your brain going to its default negative bias.

We have been immersing ourselves in learning this year. Here are some tips from the Science of Wellbeing Course created by Dr Laurie Santos from Yale university Psychology Dept in relation to savouring.

Things that can help you to savour experiences are: 

• talk to another person about how good that experience is

• Think about how lucky you are

• Think about sharing and relaying the experience to others later after the event

• Express your feelings jump around, smile, laugh

• Think about how proud you were, specifically if you achieved something, won something 

• Just being in the present moment 

❗️ ❗️ Warning - you can hurt savouring. 

• By thinking of other things in the moment that could make the experience less good like the future, the things you need to do etc

• Reminding yourself it will be over soon

• Thinking it is not as good as you hoped 

• Reminding yourself that it won’t last forever, it’s never going to be this good again 

• Telling yourself you don’t deserve this thing

Sonja Lyubomirsky was featured in the Science of Wellbeing course. Sonja’s book The How of Happiness is a comprehensive guide to understanding the elements of happiness based on years of groundbreaking scientific research.

LYUBOMIRSKY ET AL. (2006) 

• People were asked to replay happy memories in their mind 8 minutes per day for 3 days.

• Think of the event “as though you were rewinding a film and playing it back.”

People had sustained increases in positive emotions 4 weeks later!

Another scientific piece of research into the ‘Effects of a Savoring Intervention on Resilience and Well-Being of Older Adults’

• Jennifer L. Smith, Agnieszka A. Hanni

• Published in Journal of Applied… 2019

• Psychology

  Show these graphs in relation to wellbeing:

Here Chef Curtiss Hemm appreciates all of the opportunities and experiences he has had, he shares his recipe for building a life worth savouring in a Ted talk.

To practice savouring it does not just have to be in the moment. It can be in the past or even the future. It can be small and everyday, it just takes a little time to stop and engage your senses. Why not practice this over your Christmas holiday and let us know if intentional acts of savouring, help you to relax, and truly enjoy this time of year.

Savouring one thing everyday will enhance your wellbeing. Immerse yourself in the present moment and realise how beautiful that moment is, then actively replay that feeling over and over again.

If you find it hard to carve out the time for slow practice we are offering some free 30 minute full moon and new moon online meet-ups in December and January, a chance to reflect, set intentions, breathe and connect to yourself, all from the comfort of your own home. Sign up for free here, this is a gift from us to you at this busy time of year.

The School of Creative Wellness conducts research, connects with local and global experts in health and wellbeing. We champion and showcase research, individuals and businesses that we feel aligned with. We collect, connect, reflect, share our resources and offer unique services with the aim of helping to signpost, inform, inspire and enable women to navigate mid-life with care, creativity and joy. We help you to fill your cup on a daily basis.

We hope this blogpost is helpful over this busy season. We would love to hear from you about the moments you choose to savour this Christmas.

A coffee that I bought today with a friend at The Cabinet Rooms Winchester. It made me smile and stop and really appreciate and be present in the moment. Simple things…

What is Creative Wellness?

We are in our 10th month of existence at the School of Creative Wellness. Entering into Autumn, as the founder and director, I have spent time reflecting on what has happened so far this year, what the business means to me, how it resonates with the community we are building and what I can improve and develop.

So firstly, as the founder of SCW I want to explore the question - What is Creative Wellness?

Creative Wellness is the idea that good health involves every aspect of your life, it is holistic. It is not just about diet or exercise or psychology, it is about how you express yourself too. It is about multiple aspects of living well all being nurtured simultaneously.

For me personally, creativity is is a key characteristic and underpins everything I do and how I approach life. It has been my life in arts and design education and practice for decades. However, I understand that the idea of being creative can seem intimidating for many. It can trigger fear, the inner critic, the ‘I am not talented or creative’ inner voice. Let me reassure you that everyone has the capacity to create just like everyone can do yoga. You don’t need talent or even skill you don’t need to ‘look’ like an artist or someone who does yoga. You need an open mind and to train your mind to notice, to observe, to imagine and to play. Without fear of failure and without comparison.

How often do you engage all of your senses? To notice, to hear, to touch, to smell and to taste? How often do you savour a moment?

You could practice by walking and taking your gaze away from your phone to notice the skyline, by scanning a panoramic view, by listening to an overheard conversation, by taking a walk where you don’t know the destination, by taking a photo of something beautiful, by collecting a natural object such as a conker or a fir cone or by noticing the taste on in your mouth at different times in the day. Observation, really noticing, drinking in the scenes of life around you and within you. These small actions may feel pointless or difficult at times but with regular practice the positive effects have tremendous impact.

Maybe try smiling at someone and noticing the response, the eyes the facial expressions. If you like to capture moments with a pen or pencil or a camera or just with your eyes and ears it doesn’t matter it is the act of noticing the ignored that is mindful. Immersing yourself in the present moment. Not thinking about the week so far, or what is to come. Just being fully immersed in the now and noticing how that feels, for you, right now. No judgement, no comparison, just noticing.

Perhaps start a collection in a box of things that bring you joy. Photos, objects, memories, textures, symbols, emblems that make up your identity, your curiosity and make you feel good. Collect articles, texts, recipes and books and anything that sparks inspiration or makes you feel something. . Get it out each month to add to it. To look feel smell and connect with your collection.

Creativity can also be about problem solving or taking things apart and remaking them without fully knowing what the end result will be, then making links between things. Also not being afraid to release things that don’t serve you, in order to create space to add new positive things in your life. This is where the magic can happen, in the unexpected. The collision, the new formations of things whether they are words, thoughts or actions visuals or objects, tangible or imagined. Explore things you have never tried before, without expectation.

The journey and the process is so important, often without a known end goal. This ability to lose yourself in a process, without pressure or fear, just for the simple act of enjoyment, then observing how it makes you feel, will lead to new ways of thinking and seeing. New connections can be made and a constant process of connection and reflection is mindfulness in action. It can just be for 5 minutes per day. The more you do it the more natural it feels and more possibilities and opportunities present themselves to you along the way.

Try reaching out to connect with others who you find inspiring, who have knowledge or experience you wish to cultivate. Initiate conversations in your locale. Human connection boosts our wellbeing. Reach out. Talk to strangers. Savour small moments without pressure and without an end objective, purely for the sake of doing it, engaging and noticing.

Move your body everyday with kindness, in any way that feels good for you. Everybody is different and every body is different. Ask your body how it feels, what it needs and respect the answer, whether it is rest and gentle walks or stretching or activities to strengthen and build. Just doing 30 mins of gentle movement a day will boost your wellbeing. Take a walk in your lunch hour or after dinner.

I have found the process of designing yoga classes so creative. The lesson plan, the people, their needs and the flow of the classes I create, how I choose to use language, how that makes people feel, this, to me is such a rewarding and creative process. I get instant feedback. I can see how what I am doing is being received then reflect, adjust, develop and learn through iteration. Incremental steps. It is such a joy.

Playfulness and curiosity can also be practiced. The seeking out of things that make you feel good, that make you feel sensations, emotions and feelings can be practiced in small ways, as regular habits.  Collecting and noticing things, people, information that aligns to your values as you progress through life helps you form your idea of self.

I am skilled in building confidence in people to do this. To reiterate, the act ‘to create’ means to bring something into being, to actively birth something new. To make connections between things, to reflect, to take things apart and remake them. This act of creativity can be applied to many areas of life. To engage in craft and use your hands, to take a photograph of something you love, to write a special message to someone you love are all mindful activities. You are in the moment, engaging different parts of your brain and connecting to the materials, the environment you are in or to the feelings you have. There is a direct parallel here with the practice of yoga.

For me, creativity has led me to be curious, to find my voice, to solve problems in new ways, to explore my identity and the world around me in fresh new ways as I progress through life. This is not a linear journey, it is often full of accidents and mistakes; opportunities for learning. This process is about patterns; noticing, recognising and creating new ones. It is an opportunity to lean into life in the fullest, kindest, and most beautiful way.

At the School of Creative Wellness we harness this expertise and help others to use creativity, movement and mindfulness to reframe, to find joy and to explore life inwardly and outwardly.

This is a way of being, a state of mind, a way of practicing and learning and being in the fullest and most rewarding of ways. This requires a certain amount of vulnerability and a commitment to a practice of continuous learning, unlearning and, most importantly; kindness to self. This is creative wellness.

There are phases in life that are really tough and you may feel you have lost your sense of self, we can provide the methods you need to integrate self-care and magic back into your life.

At the school of creative wellness we have the tools insights and knowledge to help you on this journey to recalibrate lead a healthy and enriched life in a truly holistic way.

We have exciting plans in development for 2024, so please encourage anyone you feel would benefit from a bit of creative wellness in their lives to sign up to our newsletters.

“May your transformation be full of joy.”

Linda (Bridget Christie) The Change.

Have you been watching the 2023 British comedy drama series The Change starring, written and created by Bridget Christie? If you are peri/menopausal it is essential  viewing… 

This is dramedy at its best. The menopause is a subject that is still not talked about enough, not understood by many people and not accepted or supported enough within the systems and constructs that dominate our societal norms. 

Like Linda (Christie), I too had no idea I was suffering from peri-menopausal symptoms, and I too thought I was losing my mind. My life lacked joy, I was depressed and angry. Once acknowledged, the unravelling began. Then the quest, the reclamation and the rebirth as a wiser older woman. The rejection of systems, people and templates that no longer served me, a deep and primal rebirthing process. Women need to share their transformative stories. Oh Linda, you speak to so many of us! You are so brave.

Linda’s journey involved getting on her old triumph motorbike and leaving her husband and two teenage children to live in the Forest of Dean in a caravan on a quest to find her voice, courage, strength, femininity and sanity. 

Becoming part of a new community who are struggling with change, Linda becomes instrumental in bringing the locals together and forging new ways forward with soul filled integrity.  This series shines a light on the damage that humans and capitalism can do, the outdated constructs we often operate within, dialogue around gender and equality and so much more. With absolute comic genius. 

The themes explored within this series resonated with me deeply. I use the wonder of nature as a magical tool for reconnection, I have navigated loss, trauma and healing, discovered new joy, created new rituals, connected with wise people, sought to be part of a collective activism that connects and unites people for good. 

Joining Christie in the cast are Liza Tarbuck, Omid Djalili, Paul Whitehouse, Monica Dolan and Jim Howick. It is the playing out of the menopause as a theme within the context of the village’s characters that makes this so very special because you get an exploration of the subject from so many different perspectives and opposing viewpoints. 

Comedy is a beautiful medium to  shine a light on big topics in order to inspire thought, debate and change. I feel totally inspired so thank you Bridget Christie you are officially my wise and wonderful menopausal woman crush ❤️

Do take the time to watch this, it is soooo good.

Regenerative business

So why I am referencing this concept? 

Because it makes so much sense… Over the past three years I have had a total revaluation of value and purpose after hitting mid life. The challenges that came with this transformative stage of life were multiple, as you may have read in my previous blog post ‘Let’s talk about self-care’.  My journey has involved much reading and practicing, one of the resources I found was Samantha Garcia’s new book Regenerative Business. It is so good that I felt compelled to write about it and share my personal learnings, in the hope that this post resonates with you…

In the past year I have taken the bold step to create something new. Central to this change in direction, is building a framework for my business from the roots up, that nourishes me and is aligned with nature. This is a must for me. 

I am learning to say a firm “No” to negative behaviours experienced from years of working within broken systems that put profit over people and often planet. I’m also processing a large amount of past trauma. There is re-programming process which frees me up to work differently, with kindness and care at the heart of everything I do. Now I design the eco- system that I work within. It is very liberating. 

Yoga, nature, creativity, learning and connection were the things that I turned to at the beginning of this transformative journey. Yoga, as a philosophical theory, is the view that our minds and bodies are the parts of natural world that we, as persons, must take responsibility for, so that they reflect our interests as people. This is a circular idea, a non-hierarchical, holistic view of interconnectedness, a view that is about teamwork, nurture, collaboration, listening, observing and that responsibility or power does not only apply to one group or entity. It is a way of being, thinking, moving and believing. It was a process that enabled me to reconnect to myself, to my core values and to other people.

Creativity is also central to my core. Having a design background, I often pulled on the Design Council’s double diamond methodology within their Framework for Innovation.  I see synergies between this type of learning and the practice of yoga. The Double Diamond helps designers and non-designers across the globe tackle some of the most complex social, economic and environmental problems. 

• Discover. The first diamond helps people understand, rather than simply assume, what the problem is. It involves speaking to and spending time with people who are affected by the issues.

• Define. The insight gathered from the discovery phase can help you to define the challenge in a different way.

• Develop. The second diamond encourages people to give different answers to the clearly defined problem, seeking inspiration from elsewhere and co-designing with a range of different people.  

• Deliver. Delivery involves testing out different solutions at small-scale, rejecting those that will not work and improving the ones that will.

This methodology became the framework for the first ever global graphic design masters degree course that I co wrote and built for a UK University before setting up the School of Creative Wellness. This is my background, innovation in design thinking. Using creative thinking and practice to solve problems, big socio-political , cultural and environmental problems. The work coming out of the masters course is mind blowing. Harnessing creativity for good, for positive change. This philosophy and desire lives in me.

The predominant systems we operate in today often make life hard. They are mostly outdated, unhelpful, not progressive and often cause harm to people and to planet.

Another part of my research and reading looked at Metabolic, who look for leverage points within systems to create maximum impact. Striving for systems change, they are working to transition the existing global economy as rapidly as possible by working with influential decision-makers to drive sustainability stewardship and organisational change. At the same time, they are working to build parallel systems based on principles that are fundamentally different to the current one, in the form of disruptive new ventures and pilots of new governance and finance models. For any business or start up looking to disrupt outdated systems they are worth a deep dive.

Metabolic

Below are their info graphics explaining our current economy and the economy of the future.

Our current economy is linear

The process of “taking, making, and disposing” is at the root of many social, environmental, and economic challenges: we extract finite natural resources from the planet at an unsustainable rate, and create vast volumes of harmful waste, which is also lost value.

Metabolic

A new economic model for people and planet

The circular economy is an opportunity to reinvent the way we live and do business. It’s about redesigning our global systems – how we make products, how we produce our food, and how we manage resources – to generate new types of value, and solve human health and environmental challenges.

The economy of the future is circular

A circular economy is ‘waste-free’ and regenerative. 

Metabolic

How do we apply that thinking to our lives, our businesses, our relationships macro and micro, globally and locally? 

I have been listening to podcasts, reading books and collecting all sorts of resources and links. Research is something I love to do. All material gathered is in relation to my interests in new methods in business with a focus on wellness in its broadest sense. So when I learnt about an online ‘regenerative business workshop’ with Samantha Garcia & Simone Grace Seol I was beyond excited.

Simone captivated me at a time when I was in the early throws of creating something new. The following words from her website sparked something in me.

She talks about:

Congruence and Right Relationship - alignment with what is true and whole.

Congruence is the art of partnering with your brain. 

It is the skill of partnering with the spirit of your business. 

It is the quality of your outsides aligning with your insides. 

It is stepping up to your chosen values and commitments rather than following scripts that have been handed down from dominant paradigms.

Simone’s podcast  series is well worth a listen if you are building something new or if you wish to change the status quo in an existing venture or organisation. 

Samantha Garcia has 10 years of experience in product development and Project Management with an emphasis in sustainable resources and conscience consumption and is the author of Regenerative Business. Samantha asks “What kind of impact could your business make if you integrated the most powerful systems on Earth: THE SYSTEMS OF NATURE?”

Garcia’s recent book Regenerative Business creates fertile ground within you to unearth and express your soul purpose. It stewards a version of you that’s fully in bloom. It’s creative, healing, and intentional, and it births a better world for future generations.

Regenerative Business Samantha Garcia

Below are my key learnings from this workshop* in the context of my own personal journey of starting my business.

The workshop explored ‘How to die better’ (regeneratively). 

How to restore - life creativity, longevity, wealth and Influence.

Simone began by talking about marketing as a social, ecological, environmental eco-system and how to increase creativity to transcend traditional ideas: to create new ideas, to cultivate progressiveness, to see things differently. Creativity is something I have cultivated for many years. Design and creative thinking are powerful tools for reframing and innovating. I usually have an abundance of creative ideas often to the point of overflow. The concept of killing things off was about to be unpacked, I was hooked…

Simone said “Choice is a skill we can hone’”. At a point where I am making many new choices in my personal and professional life, this resonated with me. I am typically very fizzy, someone with so many ideas, so many possibilities, sometimes finding it hard to focus things down. I also had an urgent need for change bubbling within me over the past few years. Change is hard. What tools helped me? Practices that enabled me to connect to myself, and to my true values, these helped me to make new choices to sit with my true self, to listen, to make smart choices that are right for me.

Viewing business and life as a work of art was music to my ears. A business ethos and idea is one thing, but operationally I was conditioned and lived through several decades where the joy was slowly sucked out of me. I also lacked confidence and was scared. It is easy for us all  to look at sm and compare ourselves to others. This can be helpful to a point but is often a fast route to stagnation. I wanted something different but I didn’t know what that could be. So, my life had begun to lack joy, it was full of bureaucracy and broken systems, firefighting and overwhelm. So I began to slow down and explore how I can keep health, innovation and authenticity in both my personal and professional life. This came to me slowly, without pressure and incrementally.

Simone and Samantha looked at the definition of the action ‘to create’ - to come into being. Asking us to settle into this as a concept and as an exercise. Creativity is life, it is nature, and death is an important part of creation; deaths feed more life. Non-regenerative death is stagnant, for example: landfills of rotting materials, locked up, festering, piling up with toxic fumes. Regenerative death is poo, fertility, like a corpse becoming food: one piece of a larger cycle.

Our modern western relationship to the concept of death is death-phobic, but death paves the way to space, fertilising new being. It is cyclical not linear. So the workshop challenged us to embrace death strategically, using death as a tool. Think about how much trauma we hold in our body in todays society, how we can feel stuck or stagnant. Non-regenerative death behaviour includes existential dread, people not wanting to work with you, hiding, overwhelm, burnout, comparison, failure. Sound familiar? We are taught to operate within systems that foster non- regenerative death, we are exhausted, busy, holding onto outdated modes of operation, factories, assembly lines, operating like machines. The 40 hour working week is outdated. How do we change this?

Changing the system requires choosing intentional death, in order to restore life. My personal intentional deaths included walking away from my 25 year career, choosing mental and physical health and my family as my top priorities, fostering new skills and learning, new ways of thinking and talking to myself, enforcing rest, killing off comparison and killing off environments and constructs that made me feel bad. Killing off the idea of being perfect and reaching perfection. These are massive deaths and long overdue. Through intentionally choosing these deaths I created more opportunity for space to move, to think, to walk, to create, to play, to connect and to breathe. Don’t get me wrong it is tough, messy, uncertain. I became comfortable with my vulnerability, it became my medicine.

Samantha cited the fundamentals of intentional death as follows:

• Relationships - killing off those that don’t serve you 

• Self-concept of self-  creating new identities

• Losing constructs and templates

• Becoming scared, vulnerable and messy

• Leaning into new cycles consistently

• Seeing business as a place for learning, a school

• Seeing business as a creative practice

• Changing neural pathways

• Building over time (iterative)

• Understanding you are in a process of creating a body of work (not instant gratification)

• Building a little at a time to create a strong muscle

• Embracing spiritual growth

• Consciously choosing what to kill off and knowing what this death is making space for

• Taking action on ideas

• Finding your voice by using your voice

• Aiming to build a body of work

This is multi-dimensional work:

• Processing trauma

• Reconnecting to body and emotions

• Un-shaming

• Re-developing relationship with own creativity, inspiration and desire

• Connecting with nature

• Connecting with community

• Becoming active politically

• Having creative hobbies outside of business that have no connection to making money

I realised I have been actively doing this without knowing how to articulate it. My multi-dimensional journey involved: becoming a yoga instructor, walking in nature, setting up my letterpress studio, building connections with local community, writing poetry, foraging, having CBT therapy and trauma therapy, reconnecting to my desires and creativity, exploring new purpose without pressure, being present with friends and family. I started living in the real world, losing guilt and shame, feeling anchored and excited, creating new opportunities, new desires. This is all hard work and is incremental and, for me a continuous process. It takes time, practice and is cyclical.

Everywhere I go there are people in the workplace suffering from burnout. Systems and structures that are not creative or indeed human centred, often reactionary and not preventative, inclusive or collaborative or good in the long term. My particular connection and focus is with peri/menopausal women, the highest percentage of people who take long term sick leave or leave the workplace due to multiple pressures hitting at once. This is what happened to me and this experience has been the root and birthing of my new business.

A 2019 survey conducted by the Chartered Institute for Personnel and Development (CIPD) found that three in five menopausal women—usually aged between 45 and 55—were negatively affected at work. BUPA found that almost 900,000 women in the UK had left their jobs because of menopausal symptoms. 

I see women on dog walks, at the school gates, in coffee shops all struggling to maintain a healthy work life balance and the systems, organisations and people around them failing them, not supporting them. Businesses must make space for this type of multidimensional work described in this workshop, to cultivate healthy environments to work in that are run with compassion and due care, to increase staff retention and allow all employees to thrive. The School of Creative Wellness helps individuals and businesses on this journey.

Samantha then went on to talk about three key pillars:

1. Processing:

• Processing trauma, un-shaming (we are often trapped in binaries of good and bad) how we see ourselves are filtered through these binaries

• Look at impulse outside of these binaries, what is the bud of creativity that lives there? Do this with every aspect of self

• Free up that space that used to be shaming

2. Activation:

• Reconnecting to body and emotions

• Re- developing relationship to creativity

• Developing creative hobbies outside of work

• Liberate creativity from commodification

• Inspiration

3. Connection:

• Nature

• Community

• Politically active

• Relationships fuel us

• What is around us - local

• Conversation

• Pay attention to the things around us

The workshop then moved on to explore what to choose for intentional regenerative death:

Composting:

• Ask yourself - what are the things that could be thrown away?

• Giving to the earth and giving to other creatures to fuel

• Decomposing - fertile- new use

• Death item- fertile - new growth and understanding this cyclical process

Controlled Burns:

• Burn down parts of business and life to create fertility to create a thriving eco-system

• Always ask the question: Do I need to burn this down or would a 5% change be enough to re-align?

Listening to what feels off or stagnant:

• Replace ‘what I should be doing’ with ‘joy of doing’ 

Build a body of work over 1 perfect thing:

• Show up - seeding - keep showing up

• Remember kindness whilst navigating

• Embrace new ways of doing things and experimentation as learning

• Work with intention over running away

• Constant emergence

Natural creativity is is prolific and wasteful:

• Fecundity: aligning the creative process with nature and understanding when you have abundance, things have to die or you intentionally have to kill them

Killing your creations:

• Having creative outlets outside of work

• Seeing a larger timeline

• Deciding what will live and what will die

• Having support to tell you no 

• Enforcing rest

Trusting: 

• Trusting there are always an infinite amount of good ideas

• Trusting the choices you make are good

• There is no imperative to take action on them all at once

• Plug into collective current of creativity

It’s ok to do less:

• Don’t just think about next quarter, think about timeframe as longer, and do one thing at a time.

  * This is my experience from a live workshop so to get the full experience, information, tips and wonderful ideas get yourself a copy of Samantha’s book here .

For me personally, this is about continuous practice, ritual and is a constant cycle, not a linear process. By that I mean putting creativity and joy at the forefront of my work. Through actively cultivating fallow restorative times and active growth times. I believe that burn out is due often to us working in patriarchal systems and cycles of ‘constant productivity’ which are simply not sustainable. So, aligning with nature and natural cycles where things root, grow, bloom and pollinate and die is the way forward. Tuning into my own personal cycles in my body, when I need rest, when I am on fire and at peak productivity, and planning around them. Active pausing and listening to my body, to my environment, to the people around me. Putting this into practice, in both personal and business contexts, was the birth of the School of Creative Wellness.

A heart-centred business…

My business is about leaving society better off in my own small way. It is regenerative in nature rather than consumerist/capitalist, don’t give a dot about people or the environment, type of commerce. Rejecting burnout cultures, work them hot and replace when burnt out - all that badness, was an intentional burn for me. I had no choice, I could not continue as I was, I was not living a happy or healthy life. 

This is a new era for small business and entrepreneurship and we have a blank canvas to create new models that are innovatory, sustainable and for the good. This philosophy should be applied to management, leadership, HR and developing new services of real lasting value. The world is in crisis and needs radical human centred changes. Regenerative business is a circular way of being, with a focus on good. It takes strong leadership and collaboration to enable such approaches to systemic change. In my small way I am part of this change, and wish to help others in the process.

My focus for the last 12 months has been to remain calm and happy whilst growing something new. Through creating new patterns and rhythms of working that are healthier and more enjoyable and unlearning unhelpful thinking and habits. This has become the foundation of my business - to help businesses and individuals reset, reconnect and thrive through my wellbeing services of yoga and breathwork, retreats and creative workshops. To create and hold the space for creativity and innovation with a heart centred approach. There is a lot to unpack in this post. I would love to hear if you feel any resonance with this blog post and how you may wish to apply some of these approaches in your life and work.

For more information about how we can work with your business in the context of wellbeing visit here.

To donate to enable our services to be delivered to those who can’t afford them or access them visit here. 

My Glamour Hag

“Just when we think it’s all over, along comes menopause, to shake us to the core again. We’re never done with our transformations; they just keep on coming round. We shapeshift all the way up to the end, casting off certainties like a selkie casts off her sealskin.”

Sharon Blackie, Hagitude.

Sharon Blackie, writer, psychologist and mythologist published Hagitude in September 2022. I first came across her work when talking about my idea of myself now, entering the second phase of my life with my then coach and friend Heather Mullin. I had created a mood board with images that resonated with me and in there were some old pictures a photographer friend had taken. One of which triggered me into thinking who is that woman? Who am I now? Where has the glamour gone? I have changed, evolved and transformed, shed layers and gained, lost, grown and rebuilt myself, but I don’t have much feeling for who I am now. In my minds eye I had an out of focus montage of myself based on various incarnations, various snapshots through my formative years all mish mashed together and fuzzy. The essence of me is inside but what does she look like now?

So here is that faded snapshot from a time in the early noughties. A time of optimism, high spirits, excess, parties, where anything was possible. A time where my close friends and myself were establishing soon to be successful businesses and careers a period of fashion, music, art, inspiration and a constant whirl of glamour. I used to hang out and have become lifelong friends with Harriet and Rosie Founders of Tatty Devine. There was always an event, a party, a private view.

I looked at this photo and I felt so far removed from that time. I have since become a mother, a wife, a single mum, an employee I had not stopped transforming at such a pace that I had lost the essence of me. What stays within, what has been shed, what remains and what does it look like now? Not to others, but to myself? So began a quest to find myself now, and one particular mission to find my glamour hag.

“How do we catch a glimpse of the truth of who we are? How do we construct an image of the elder that we’re destined to become? – the elder woman who represents the kernel of our gift, our genius? How do we mature into our own unique brand of hagitude?”

Sharon Blackie, Hagitude.

I first of all got rid of all my underwear that did not fit anymore. A symbolic gesture of acceptance of my body now. I bought new underwear that felt so good. Why had I not done that sooner? My hagitudal nod to the burning bra feminists in the 60’s. I had spent so long shapeshifting to fit into other people’s ideas of how I should be, a perfect mum, a high achiever, a great employee, a wife, a good daughter. I started my own personal quiet revolution. I sent my friend Harriet a message saying that I did not recognise myself anymore, I had lost my essence and I was slowly rediscovering it again with kindness and care. I wanted to do something now as a 47 year old to celebrate and find my glamour hag. In December I took myself and my daughter to East London and I modelled with an 18 year old girl for Tatty Devine’s Spring Collection. My body was accepted, my glamour reactivated and I realised that I am the same but different, better even. The glamour is still there but with a softness, a kindness and a certain wisdom. So thank you Harriet and Rosie for being such amazing friends. I continue this journey of connection in so many ways now and the second phase of my life is radiant and full of new adventures. My hagitude is not about surviving, fading or conforming, it is about accepting, celebrating, learning, sharing, seeking and most importantly joy. If this resonates with you I encourage you to search and find your inner hagitude, it feels great.

Fresh as a daisy

Fresh as a daisy

Pearl the pug

A bird in the hand

March of the dinosaurs

March of the dinosaurs

Let’s talk about self-care.

Something I am thinking about in January 2023 is self-care. What does it actually mean? What does it look like for me or for you? How can I cultivate realistic routines where I look after myself with the same kind of care and attention that I give to others?

Being a mum, an employee, a carer, a partner, a friend, a colleague, a high achiever all came first, I was always way down the list and everything was pouring out of me, until I became an empty shell. I used to speak to myself in the most unkind way, feeling like I was never doing enough, never giving enough, not good enough. I never checked in with myself with kindness. I pushed away any thoughts of self-care, my life had become a cycle of self sabotage. I allowed others to abuse me by taking more and more and I was not refuelling. I allowed that to happen. I felt resentful, not in control of life. On the surface everything was great, I was achieving a lot in my career but I was becoming more and more anxious, physically and mentally unwell. Then peri-menopause hit and I was under a lot of pressure in various areas of my life and I completely broke.

This was the beginning of a complete re-evaluation of my life. I know my story resonates with other women, especially people my age who have moved through their 20’s and 30’s and had children and found themselves in a loop where they don’t recognise who they are anymore. Numb. I became numb, life held no joy, everything became completely overwhelming. The irony is that by giving everything out for so long, I was rendered incapable of giving to anyone. I shut down.

Sometimes it takes a big incident in life to make positive change. This was mine. by sharing this I hope it helps in some way. There is a lot of guilt and shame associated with burnout and it is so common. I want to share my story which was my own path, and now my business is there to encourage and hold a space for others to integrate self care into their lives. I am also on a quest to work with business leaders to address potential burnout for women in the workplace by integrating regular wellbeing practices into the working week.

I did a lot of work on myself, looking at how I talk to myself, regularly noting how I was feeling, noticing how I was reacting to life, what words I was choosing to use, exploring what was important in my life now, reconnecting with nature, doing yoga every day. I completely stopped after running at 100mph for over two decades. I was in my mid forties and started to explore who I really am and what I want in my life. This was a two year process of hard work and is ongoing. The methods I learnt, the explorations I made I now wish to share with others because I feel like a totally different person now.

The process of using creativity and slow processes- writing, collecting visuals, letterpress printing, foraging, cooking, preserving, walking my dog, yoga, breathwork, stretching, tuning into myself and my feelings and my body is mindfulness. It is not just a word, it was a journey that brought me so much joy, feeding me, making me feel strong and grounded: in control, back to me. Small things, being present with myself and those I care about these became my priority. I started to collect images and words and created visual mood boards (my container) of my values, what is important to me, what I need in my life (see a section of this expansive miro board above). My priorities shifted, I no longer reacted like I used to. I now feel balanced, calm, full of confidence and self worth. Everyone around me started to see a complete transformation. I started setting boundaries for myself and making small regular steps. It is hard work and continues but I re programmed my default actions and thoughts over a period of time.

Listening to Yely Staley on the Yoga Medicine podcast this week I heard my story, which is a common story for so many others. Yely and Rachael Land explore definitions of self care ‘beyond the trope of massage and bubble baths’. I recommend you listen, if you too find it hard to integrate daily self care into your life.

They explore why we find it hard to put boundaries in place and how important they are for our health and wellbeing. How self care is about regular daily checking in with ourselves and striving to be our authentic selves. It is about self love and respect. It is something that needs to come from you, for you. Back to You, Breathe Then Reach.

So to all those women out there who are juggling a million things, thinking “How do I fit yoga in?” or “I don’t have time to care for myself because everyone else needs me” “ I don’t deserve to…” I say to you that you totally deserve to prioritise yourself, whether it is a simple walk on your own noticing the environment around you, 10 minutes of sitting and noticing how you are feeling, sitting and concentrating on you body and breathing, or learning how to say no to things that don’t serve you, or spending two minutes thinking of all the things you are grateful for.

You can do this, you deserve this. My aim is to hold a space for a community of warrior women like you, so you can get Back to You and Breathe Then Reach. Come and join me and many other women prioritising time for themselves.